So, the past few months, I've been grocery shopping during the day with my children. Before you think that the solution to my shopping woes is just to either shop after they go to bed or in the morning before they get up, please know that I just can't afford to lose the sleep precious sleep that shopping without children costs. I'll spare you the post about my daily schedule.
Where to start? The start to our grocery trip began with Will grabbing my shopping list and ripping it into 2 pieces. I was just glad it was only 2 pieces and that he hadn't eaten any of it. Hope decided that today she would bypass the car grocery cart and walk beside us. I let her put the things in the cart when she walks with us and she feels big. Our bread is squished and our bananas are bruised, but Hope feels big and when you are a 3 year old, feeling big is...well big.
I have a little grocery cart cover that Will sits in to avoid all the germs. It's not hip like those cute ones that people use now, but unlike the cute ones, it has toys attached to it. These toys used to occupy Hope throughout the entire trip. Not Wilbur. Before we get out of the produce section, he has moved on to my key bracelet holder thing. Later, he'll move on to the purple pencil case I use to hold my coupons, and try to use my pen, but I draw the line at the pen. All heck starts to break loose in the dish soap section. Palmolive is part of the "Buy 10 save $5 deal." How did I miss that? I have a coupon for that at home that would make it free for me. Did I bring that coupon? I didn't know so I had to check my coupon case to see. Uh Oh! It's gone. Will must have dropped it without me noticing. My heart rate is rising because also in there are my quarterly bonus checks from my Kroger 123 PlusCard! That's big bucks! So, Hope and I race through the store until I spot it lying on the floor in the toilet paper section. Whew. That was a close one. On we shop... until Hope announces she needs to "go poop." I ask her to wait until we are finished so she can go at home. After all, she's been telling me that for literally 48 hours now and every time we try, she decides it was "just gas" and refuses to sit on the pot. Of course, now it would turn into an emergency. She is now waddling through the grocery holding her bottom and trying to pinch her butt cheeks together. By this time, we are in the frozen food section and almost finished, but emergencies are emergencies. So, we race to the bathrooms (on the other end of the store... the only reason I know where these are is because I had to throw up in them 3 times in one shopping trip once when I was pregnant with Will. Glad you know that aren't you?) Hope is dancing the pee pee dance while I'm trying to get Will out of his contraption and get us in the family restroom. You can't bring your cart in the bathroom after all. A man in a bandanna feels sorry for Hope and opens the door for her to go on in. Finally we all get in and do the duty. As I'm holding Will, I feel some really hot liquid running down my own body. This is not perspiration, it's pee. Will's diaper has sprung a leak. As I had left the diaper bag at home for this (supposedly short) excursion, Will had to just wear his clothes for the rest of the trip and I just had to grin and bear it as well. I'm wearing a grey t-shirt which shows wet spots like the best of them, but you know... it's the least of my worries at this point. It doesn't really worsen my appearance anyway. It couldn't get any worse. See, I'm wearing the same clothes I slept in last night which also happen to be the same clothes I wore all day yesterday except yesterday I wore a hat and today I'm just not wearing a hat but showing off what really greasy hair can look like. Almost done! We finish the last few items, get in line and then realize that I had to have 3 boxes of 16 oz Gerber cereal for this coupon and I chose 8 oz boxes. Back to the baby section we go... I'm so glad I realize this before the checker chastises me for not having the correct item to match my coupon. Finally, check out time. I hand my baby slobber soaked key chain to the cashier to scan my plus card. She grimaces but I pretend not to notice. Hope puts all that she can reach out of the cart on our little check out conveyor belt and I swipe my credit card and finally off we go.... and the circus continues at home.
1 comment:
Amen, sister. Amen.
P.S. Aubrey always insists on pooping when we are at the grocery store too.
P.S.S. I'm so glad our girls were able to play together while we were in town. Maybe one of these days us moms can join in on the fun too?
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